Last night, I woke up at about 2 a.m., feeling worried and hassled. I couldn’t shake off a nagging sense of uncertainty and an invisible discomfort I had brushed under the carpet of chaos throughout the day. What did Tim mean by saying X? Why hadn’t Kaaya replied to my email in time? Was it the cold or the overheated room? I can’t quite remember.
I tossed and turned, trying to find a comfortable position to quiet my mind, but I didn’t fall asleep until around 4:30 a.m. My sixteen-year-old burst in, phone in hand, strumming a tune— “School time!” With a groan, I dragged myself out of bed, feeling groggy and angry at myself for letting my thoughts be tossed around by a series of incidents.
People and their perspectives can cause so much havoc, and yet we fall prey to this chaos almost every day. As advisers, we often get lost in the daily grind, juggling clients, business, and family. Sometimes we work tirelessly towards a goal, only to realise we’re just chasing our own tails. Other times, we find ourselves trapped in a mind valley of nonsensical squabbles.
I remember a time, just yesterday it seems, when I was putting in 14-hour days for over a decade, determined to get my business on track. I was focused and happy, unfazed by negativity. Every thought needed my permission to enter; I felt in control. My days were filled with purpose, and that kept me alive.
As I write this, I’m reminded of the beauty in humility and the simplicity of existence. Here are some lessons I hope will help you find the same calm I once held even through the toughest days:
- Say Grace: We have something to be thankful for every day. Say it out loud. No matter how hard life gets, we have food, sunshine, friends, family, and a business to support us.
- Say Grace Twice: In times of hardship, look for the lesson. Don’t blame; learn from the heartache. It’s there to teach you something.
- Follow Your Breath: Breathe and create space within yourself. Our cells need air, and the human brain is the biggest consumer of oxygen. Breathwork, especially in the morning, can help you self-regulate.
- Be Aware: Observe your thoughts, actions, and feelings closely. Don’t let them clog your creativity. Watch them, speak to them, and ask them to leave you alone.
- Move Your Limbs: Your body is an energy field that holds onto feelings. Moving helps shake off negativity stored in places you might not even know. Did you know we often hold our most painful memories in our lower body?
- Let Others Be: Show compassion and allow others to hurt you. Sometimes, our hurt stems from our perspective on someone else’s actions.
- Be Detached but Passionate: The source of joy lies in the doing, not the goal. Attachment to material things and outcomes can cloud your mind. Know where you’re going and let everything else follow.
As I wrap up my day, I remind myself of these lessons. I may not have slept much, but who cares? Many go days without sleep and keep pushing forward. I might not have found total calm, but I believe I can do better, and I’m committed to striving for it.
Shivi Malik